Two Philosophers

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I take great pride in how well I wipe my butt after popping. Cleanliness is godliness.

Just a guy

6 months ago -

I like watching old people walk into organized eating establishments and go up to the most random person and start ordering food. I’m all for taking my issues to the top, but going directly to the guy putting lettuce on your sub in the kitchen and telling him your order, is a bit obnoxious.

Just a guy

8 months ago -

Since Bear Grylls drinks his own pee all the time, I wonder what it would take for him to squeeze the juices out of his own poop and drink that like he did with this elephant’s poop.

- Just a guy

We got this ice cream man that drives through our neighborhood every day, however I never see anyone buy anything from him. I bet he’d sell out in 5 minutes if he changes that stupid “pop goes the weasel” shit he’s got on loop to some Master P.

Just the other guy

8 months ago -

So my wife seems to think that keeping bread in the fridge makes it last longer. However she still insists on throwing it away when it hits the expiration date. I don’t get it…

Just the other guy

8 months ago -

I like those big fat people who wobble on their pinky toes and look like they are almost going to fall forward when they walk. Their shoes almost always have no sole left in that spot.

Just a guy

8 months ago -

If you ever go out for ice cream with friends, just sit and people watch. Look for really old people eating their ice cream. It’s the grossest and creepiest thing you will ever see in your life.

Just a guy

8 months ago -

That Bethenny Frankel is a complete butterface. Her face looks like an ape. I cant be the only one who notices this? Id still hit it.

Just a guy

8 months ago -

2 -

I wish my pubes would continue to grow like the hair on my head. I want a zz top beard on my weiner..

Just a guy

9 months ago -

2 -

Guys with no chins look freakin’ weird. It’s like their mouths just flow directly into their neck.

Just the other guy

9 months ago -